A little over a year ago, I was driving home and I was thinking about a position at work that was going to be opening up soon. The position was for a Program Director in my division. This was a position I never aspired to and never pictured myself in. On my drive home that day, the Lord whispered to my heart that I was supposed to put in for the job. To say that I was absolutely terrified is an understatement! Lord, I can’t put in for that job! I’m not ready for this…and I’m not ready for that. Lord, I’m NOT qualified!! Over the course of the next month, the Lord worked on me in a powerful way. He reassured me that when I got this job, that He would be there with me…walking beside me every step of the way. He reminded me that although I in my own flesh was not qualified for this position, that He most certainly was. With Him guiding and directing me, I was sure to see a victory. He used that time before the position opened up to open my mind and soften my heart to His plan for the next steps on my path.
By the time I was offered the position, my heart was willing and humbled that He would want to use me for such a large assignment. He had brought me through the forest of fear to the clearing of trust and faith. My flesh still didn’t like it…but I was ready. I’m your servant Lord, send me.
The last year of my life has been my hardest yet. Thankfully no blood, but there has certainly been sweat and tears. I came in the position with a severe shortage of staff, an enormous learning curve, and people that were resentful that I got the job. The valley that I walked through was far and wide at times. Every time I would think oh well at least I have this or that person to help with that, the very thing or person that I thought I needed would leave or be taken away. As we lost other Directors within the program, the number of my employees doubled and I was now responsible for three field offices in addition to my two program areas.
I’ve had no choice but to trust God through it all. To lean into Him harder than I ever had before and ask Him for daily provision. Provision for that big meeting or that hard conversation with an employee…physical and emotional strength to keep pushing through as hard as I have been…every step of every day.
So why do I tell you all that? Because God PROVIDED! With everything I thought I needed but lost, He has provided. Every day I ask Him for my daily bread…wisdom, knowledge, discernment, strength, the words, the actions, direction, guidance. He’s never left me and He’s never forsaken me. A year later, I realize that I am qualified. I always was…because He has qualified me!
I think about the story of David and Goliath. From human eyes, David was no match for Goliath, but He trusted God. 1 Samuel 17:37 says “And David said, The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” David prevailed over Goliath with a sling and a stone. It wasn’t David’s abilities or qualifications that gave him victory over the Philistine that day, it was God working in and through a willing vessel. In verse 45, David says to Goliath, “You came to me with a sword and a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel…”
Taking this position was a huge leap of faith for me, but it wasn’t for God. God knew exactly what He was doing. He knew that He could work in and through me even when my eyes could not imagine the possibility. Trust Him, my friends…trust Him. When He speaks to your heart, look past your own strength and your own abilities and remember that He is an infinite God and nothing is impossible for Him. If we are willing, He is able. When God qualifies you, you ARE qualified…